How To Host A Festive Gathering With Inclusivity And Love
It's the festive (and wedding) season, and for the next few weeks, all the way until the end of the year — and the very start of the new one — you'll be caught up in a whirlwind of social engagements. Even the most reluctant of minglers among us will be required to mark our presence at least a couple of parties or occasions, be it organised by family/friends/colleagues in their personal capacity or by our workplaces in more official ones. And some of us may even be called on to host.
But good hosting can be a tricky enterprise, even when you're really, really looking forward to creating the perfect event for your guests. Things like the planning and even the execution are no longer aspects to be scared of. In fact, on this site and elsewhere, you'll find detailed guides to help you tackle every stage of the hosting process for festive gatherings. What the other guides may not tell you though, is this: Sure, the menu and the theme and the games, decor and party favours can all be arranged with a great degree of attention to detail, but there's something that trumps all of these very practical considerations — and that's being an inclusive and respectful host.
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This is especially necessary in situations where you're hosting a festive gathering (in a personal capacity) with a diverse crowd: some of these guests are close friends, others are acquaintances from a work or hobby event, some are colleagues, others are part of a larger group of mutuals. Now you know certain aspects of some of these people, and others, not much at all. How do you ensure you put together a party that makes all of these diverse guests truly feel at ease?
EMBRACE ALL THE POSSIBILITIES
Being inclusive towards your intended guests begins even before your actual gathering. Once you have a guest list in place and start sending out invites, it is thoughtful and polite to address them in the manner they prefer (whether that's their use of specific pronouns or titles or even their names). When in doubt, ask.
Another area in which it's helpful to avoid assumptions is that all your guests come from typical family units. If your invite to someone includes a plus one, let them know that they're welcome to bring whomever they want under that label. It could be a friend, a spouse, a partner, a sibling. Don't presume about the relationship, and don't pry. If the information is vital to your performing of the host duties, then do let your guest know the reason why you're seeking to establish their relationship with the additional person they brought along (for instance, you have a couple quiz planned as one of the games and want to know if it's okay to include your guest and their plus one in it).
MAKE YOUR INVITES AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE
For some of your guests, a lack of clarity may be a cause of undue stress. Ensure that there are no gaps in your communication that could lead to spaces where anxiety is then seeded. State the theme, dress code, how punctual (or not) you expect your guests to be, what your position is on gifting (if you simply don't want to be overwhelmed with the 50th festive bag of dry fruits, there's no harm in telling your guests politely — that it's their company you're seeking, not material goodies!). If you're in a position to provide a spare bed or room to your guests to crash in, you can let them know. So also, this is the time when you sensitively seek out information about their dietary preferences, allergies, whether or not they consume spirits etc. Incorporate this information carefully into your menu for the evening. If any of your guests have accessibility/mobility-related concerns, do apprise them of your house layout, and what sorts of existing features they may find useful — like an entrance ramp in your complex, or a handrail in the bathroom. Additionally, if you have pets, then you may want to let your guests know in case any of them have any concerns or allergies with respect to interacting with the animals.
YOUR GUESTS' COMFORT IS PARAMOUNT
Your party may have the best food and drinks, and the decor may have been spruced up to look its best for the evening, but if any of your guests are made to feel unwelcome or uncomfortable, then your gathering will hardly be considered a success. Be warm and hospitable towards everyone you've invited, and ensure your guests are similarly respectful towards their fellow attendees. During your party itself, keep the conversation (among guests who've just been introduced to each other) to non-sensitive subjects. Cricket (and other sports), cinema, the latest episode of a prestige TV show, new books or games, travel, hobbies, home improvement projects or other activities — these are all subjects your guests can talk about passionately, without fear of unintentionally hurting someone's deep-set sentiments. Avoid discussions about hot-button topics like political, ideological or religious beliefs. Be sensitive about referring to news developments (like a legal petition, for instance) that directly impacts the community any/some of your guests may belong to.
DON'T FORGET TO HAVE FUN
In trying to ensure everyone else is well taken care of, don't forget to partake in the celebrations yourself! As you pass around platters of plant-based meat kebabs, and hand out cups for everyone to serve themselves some fruit punch, do remember to grab a bite (and a drink) yourself. Stay well-hydrated and ensure your guests are too. Some of the dishes you can consider for your party, that would account for an array of dietary preferences: vegan samosas, tofu tikka and other varieties of kebabs, biryani and other scrumptious bites. Pass around a tray filled with tall flutes of vegan fruit lassi. Better yet, mix one of these big-batch cocktail recipes and raise a toast to friendship along with your guests.
Happy festivities!
